I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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