do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
