I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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