i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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