:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
