kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
