My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
