i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
