He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
