i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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