My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
