My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
