Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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