my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize