he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
