The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
