we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
