i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
