I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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