hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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