I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
