:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
