After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
