Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I don't think brook has ever known best
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
