i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
