in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
