is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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