Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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