fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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