If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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