I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
