i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
