Me too!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
