I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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