In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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