did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
