How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
