Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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