As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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