one two three fourrrrnication!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
