PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
