Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
