I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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