that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my sisters under your porch take her home
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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