dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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