Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
