I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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