you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
