Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
