Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
